Chinese Massage

Image by the great terrific

One of my favourite ways to indulge myself is to get a cheap massage from one of those Chinese massage places that have popped up everywhere all over Adelaide. I say “cheap” but it’s not really. Although a five minute neck massage only costs $5, anything decent like Head, Shoulders, Back or a Foot massage can cost from $20 to $60. It’s an indulgence that’s not dissimilar to splurging on a really fantastic meal – it’s worth it while it lasts, but it’s over too soon.

My favourite Chinese massage place used to be the one in City Cross Arcade. When I worked at Sumo Salad I would go there all too often. My biggest spend was probably a foot massage. Unfortunately, these kind of massage joints never look very busy and my favourite place closed down months ago. I think too many of these places have opened up. This town doesn’t have a big enough population of people with aching backs who are willing to spend money so that they can be vigorously poked and rubbed while the obligatory Richard Clayderman CD plays in the background.

Does anyone remember Richard Clayderman? It may well be that I am only familiar with his brand of crassly sentimental lounge piano music because my parents used to be Chinese restaurant owners, therefore exposing me to such tastelessness from an early age.

Anyhow, while being rubbed and prodded I somehow do not mind listening to the soft strains of schmaltzy piano music. The worst though, is that on the off chance that the massage is too hard for my taste, I’m can’t bring myself to ask to have it softer. I feel like once I’ve requested a massage, I am then required to simply take what I’m given. Hard massages are good though, they’re more relaxing and effective in the end.

By the way, check out the above picture. Look how the skin is all bulgey! It looks fucking intense but I really want to try it.


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